Come and join the fun in our online acting class, Copyright 2023 StageMilk | an ARH Media PTY LTD website. And who can hold their own in an interesting discussion. They matter far too much. Well, okay, um There were a few times that I couldve done that. Ken: Imagine the guilt they would feel for not allowing you to choose your husband unwisely. I love youlove you as I have never loved any living thing. Im a genius. Im in a great mood. My ego had taken a severe battering from her. How to pick a comedy monologue: Than any of her lineaments can show her. And thank God we didnt have any children. Shall quips and sentences and these paper bullets of the brain awe a man from the career his humour? I daresay it was foolish of me, but I fell in love with you, Ernest. Please link to the scripts on the website. Bug Study 5. Mules 6. It was a separate arrangement. But the problem is.despite every fact I can muster, theres something that still doesnt check out. They love me. Remember, our authors make their income from the licensing of their work for production and the payment of royalties. Cos I got bored and had sex with you? Forget it. Flowers, notes, guinea-pig memorabilia were left outside in her memory. Hey, Lisa. They called me a freak. Your mum must be pretty stoked that youre not taking me. Ellen from Sales of a Dead Man. Then, everything about me was entered into a computer where they created a model of my mind. Rosencrantz: How many times have I heard that? We live, as I hope you know, Mr. Worthing, in an age of ideals. I loved you and believed you and pretended not to notice the Streisand thing. Guess the news of the engagement came as a bit of a shock, huh? Or maybe get hit by a truck full of hot garbage juice, you know? Students, please tell your teachers or directors about YouthPLAYS! Moll. Sssh! Book excerpt: A new collection by the Pulitzer Prize-winning author of Dinner with Friends. Home Monologues from Musicals. Jesus, I nearly ran out of the place. Its too late to go home and change. He spotted me, took a deep breath, launched into another two-hour rant about what a rough deal it is whinging, complaining, whining. Boom. If he proposed at the top of his voice, I should not mind so much. The Monologue Database I mean, it wasnt like a disease or like some people have, thyroid or that type of deal she just shovelled shit into her mouth all the time, had a few kids, and, bang, shes up there at 350, maybe more. ,\xzl8%d) >$/6 ` (+(% ',ljs4cDKR( b I confess Im, in no small part, to blame for all the gossip that has turned my varsity letter scarlet. 1. Would I be happy? Im not hurting you, am I? I can do both male and female (as my theater lacks males, so even though I'm a girl, I've played Scar from Lion King and Shere Kahn from Jungle Book). Adulthood is where dreams go to die. Therefore no marvel though Demetrius Boom. Young women need the Prom. Unrequited passion, of course. The Glass Menagerie 15. hbbd``b`^ $Wo $vH0%Dl $L L,F2%_ l So many you should go change, and then we can be in love at another time. Gonna be insane. So she tells me then that I might have what they call an undescended testes, meanin that one dropped, but the other didntshe said Id have to get it checked out, cos if there was one still up there it would have to be removed because, guess what it could become cancerous. But every year, to this day, they spend a couple of weeks apart and then when they miss each other so much they cant stand it, they meet in a tiny hotel room for exactly two hours and re-live the passion of their youth. All monologues come from published Theatrefolk plays. Its a war against terror and its a war against ignorance, and its a war against prejudice and pure dumb-arsed fuckwittedness, and weve got to win that war, otherwise were fucked. Amen. And bein a good father like encouragin your kids, givin them a tenner if theyre stuck, askin them how they are, always knowin if somethin was up, bein there for them, bein there for them always, always givin your life for them, givin your life to them fuckin hell, thats the kind of person you want to be somebody, more of those kind of people, the kind of person I want to be. And you will help me. I wanted to go. He would hate me for telling you but hed lost control of his bowels. Eric. Meredith: Feel free to share in the comments below! Get over it. Thats a pretty over-the-top version. The point is Im messed up. So, the cops got me and Im sent to the shrink. What are the best audition monologues from published plays? Jude: I dont know what it is with me lately but I just get so UGH! Okay. It disgusts me. Tracy: Dont repeat that. I ate the divorce papers, Charles. Theres pee freckles on the ceiling!! Look, mate, I dont know whats happening I just arrived, right? She has a TESOL drama certificate, a BA in theatre, and has worked and interned with Broadway and Off-Broadway theaters. The Invisible Creature - a Macabre Comedy Monologue $ 6.50. Dont repeat that. This thing with Naomi-okay, it should never have happened-but it didnt have to impact on what I have with Meg. What they are making of us are false idols merely. There was fucking everybody: everyones hopes were up there in those two towers.Its a war, Talbot It is a war. Sister Winnie: And thats it. (Banging on the floor with his fists. She is not pretty, but she is so clever and pure and good, she would make a splendid wife for a country doctor of his years. Marriage, my young friends, is an iniquitous arrangement devised by the Devil himself for driving all the love out of the hearts of lovers. None of the monologues that we select are self-written or stand-alone pieces. It used to seriously piss me off. Hes wearing this perplexed expression and hes saying you want me to leap tall buildings and be sensitive and supportive?! I think youre ready to hear a little story about a girl named Megan who didnt have a very good time in high school. Youre in way over your head. Hunted. And, all right, I know the Americans go on with all this flag-waving, patriotic bullshit and think the rest of the world hates them, but fuck, Talbot, theyre right: the rest of the world does hate em I hate em, and I want to live here! Proud of what hes achieved. She took a giant shit on my face. To teach thy base thoughts manners: th'art one of those That thinks each woman . endobj Here's 14 Free Monologues from Published Plays for actors, creators and performers. You said once you would make no compromise with things. When it was time for her to leave, he asked if he could look at her face for a while so that he would have something beautiful to remember in the long months ahead. The only really safe name is Ernest. They were running around the backyard burning and howling-theres no such thing as grace under pressure for a burning cat, let me tell you. That's right. Jack? Just thinking he might look at me, my heart starts pounding like mad. Uncontrollable passion, etcetera. Break a finger, maybe. That is Gertrude Chilterns. No, Im not in Spain, dear. Need more? He looked quite shocked. Men always look so silly when they are caught. Ive got angina. The American Way - A Satire featuring American Right Wingers $ 5.50. At luncheon I saw by the glare in his eye that he was going to propose again, and I just managed to check him in time by assuring him that I was a bimetallist. After I plan my future around our wedding. Im fine now. My friend Boomers hooking me up a job at the Mercedes dealership on Jericho Turnpike. For me you have always had an irresistible fascination. Beatrix, the 17-year old president of the student body, after her ex-friend deviously cancels the prom. Oh, it was stupidI shouldntI couldnt help it, you were so kind andand differentand I wanted to share in your work andand everything. 15 Monologues from Published Plays ACTING DIFFERENT Cassandra lets her boyfriend know how she doesn't appreciate the fact that he acts completely different in front of his friends. boarding school! Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. That make the world full of ill-favourd children: For beasts that meet me run away for fear: petrol and put a match to them. And as an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases. Girls were going to be in their bathing suits. I know its hopeless. All monologues are from published plays and can be found at theatrefolk.com TAMARA is curled up in a ball behind a chair. That they wont be bettered. Is he serious? Father I wanted to be. Jam-packed with interesting characters and humorous circumstances. Stop! Eaten. Thanks to her efforts, my grandfather was finally released, and they moved to the U.S. Helen things are so tricky, life is. Sue was kind of prude. Your parents. But I feel it coming up now, more and more, and I just think- No, thats bullshit, actually, the whole work thing. I remember it perfectly. Megan: I can see that now. [To herself.] I get a car right away. These scripts may be used for FREE but PLEASE do NOT repost the TEXT of any script online in any way. Not the case Annie. It is always advisable to check the text alongside a published version. Look Some of the best minds in our country peeing all over the floor in this here facility. The only fucking person I have ever allowed to call me Judy. Total bust. 17 Apr 2023 20:50:01 Judge. Evidence. Thats about as bad as it can get! Out of the Water 9. Lydia by Octavio Solis. Theyve showered me with leaflets. The Crucible 11. You never knew till just latelymaybe not till just to-daydid you?when I knew you were going away so soonand couldnt help showing it. I want to be better to do good and better things and to make a proper sort of decision here, but I I cant. The right one. I say Youre going to get a girl, buddy, just maybe not your cousin, huh? And then I give him a friendly pat on the back. 89 pages. Cause I couldnt hide from him. Because the fact is we just met yesterday. I thought we had a really good time together and I was actually in a fairly Up state of mind for once. Why, it must be requited. Are you honestly and truly taking Katrina to the dance? Jeffrey: Now I know this sounds like Im throwing away everything Ive said so far. Tom: The moment Algernon first mentioned to me that he had a friend called Ernest, I knew I was destined to love you. Are you mad? Not to mention unsatisfied. Aug 8, 2022 - Explore Monologue Blogger's board "Female Monologues from Plays", followed by 201 people on Pinterest. It sounds so intellectual to say, "I'm studying Shakespeare this year!". Heres my theory on that. How was I to know he was about to die. 1-minute monologues for teens from published plays for auditions and acting practice. In fact, we have to trust the playwright or screenwriter and just fully commit to the situation. Im all walking like Ive got a paintbrush up my arse, thinking: Its just that for a moment I thought Martin was still with me and I panicked. If you have been asked to prepare a comedy monologue, dont think that it has to be the funniest two minutes of your life. Can I have a bowl of your finest oysters. Press Esc to cancel. Well Im sorry, Ive loved a few people a lot, but no-ones ever stepped out of the shadows and handed me a crystal ball. Depression Monologue 3. Martin was in the loungeroom watching television and I was in the kitchen doing the washing-up. I mean, there I was just up on the roof with Marissa talking, laughing, having a great time. Boo was built a bit like a guinea pig. One year later, she went back for a second interview. Theyd be miserable. Some feeling? Teachers and directors, please consider our plays for production! Im sorry I said anything to Dennis. Hes not moving. Have I told you how Martin died? Ever. I did never think to marry. ), I wore it on Sundays for my gentlemen callers ! I try to imagine how hed notice me and fall hopelessly in love with me and all that. Because if you do, your parents will always know the unhappiness you feel for not being able to disappoint them. I told her boyfriend. He tells me that Ive got an unresolved problem with my mother. Squire Squire, Hackham and whos the other one? And all of a sudden I didnt know who I was anymore. Add to Cart. Women dont become charming, to my taste, until theyre fully developed; and by that time, if theyre really nice, theyre snapped up and married. Its too ridiculousI didnt want to tell you. I mean, I couldnt have a lesbian there. Pat. Its my Achilles flaw or something. SPARK 4. . Clark is painfully smitten with Grace, a customer who has come into his gift shop. So of course the rugby guys and the rowing guys and the wrestling guys would come in at night and theyd pin me down and get it out of their system the rage. One of those days. Its always tricky finding a great comedy monologue as lets be honest, most comedy monologues arent exactly standup routines. Vivian Bearing in Wit Emma Thompson plays an amazing role in this sweet film. Comedic Monologues from Theatre Pramkicker (Theatre) By Sadie Hasler. Soul mates? You never knew before, did you? I dont think hes breathing. Or I might go to church. No, the world must be peopled. But I cant help it. What though you have no beauty, Just how big a target do they need, you figure? Can you believe it? Julia shows the audience her pain, anger, guilt, and sorrow as she begins one of the lengthiest monologues about death on the list. I wish, Gertrude, you would speak to him, and tell him that once a week is quite often enough to propose to any one, and that it should always be done in a manner that attracts some attention. I can lie here for hours thinking about him. Then I get home and I make him breakfast. I tell her she reminds me of Sandra Bullock. I think she means to tangle my eyes too. Because it helps teens understand the human experience. On the other, I think shes the only person on Earth who can make me happy. Even though I was pretty excited about what happened last night, and also about like, maybe like, the prospect of like, I dont know, like going out with you Which I would be very into, if you were. I tell her I loved Hope Floats. I hope they get here before it starts to rain.. You know what I mean? Well, all power to George W I dont want the fucking pricks to win, either. It is a key ingredient to a happy and meaningful life. You know, Ive been thinking a lot about why we shouldnt get married. Oh, to surrender oneself to his embrace! If Id known Naomi felt like that I wouldve broken it off with her months ago. But then one of the other doctors popped in, called him Nigel, mentioned something about badminton so I thought: probably not. Just pretend that nothing happened. There was one, with a photo of fat little baby feet, next to a card which said Its your birthday, lets get wankered. BASILICA 8. Now he just needs to convince her to tune the rest of the world out. Required fields are marked *. I cannot protect you. For the next three years, they were allowed to see each other only once a year for two hours. But by the end of the day it was like the more, the merrier. Monologues About Love - From Published Plays January 9, 2019 Finding the perfect monologue can be a challenging task! (to Kayleigh.) Watch on. Its hard to imagine the Grim Reaper with a shuttlecock. Can I have a bowl of your finest oysters. But these scripts are published and protected by copyright (c) 2001-2018 so do not upload the text of a script. Im just a kid at the time, but I can remember thinking that. 4. I opened the caf with my friend Boo. And if its to do with letting the house then youll have to ring the house-agents, because theyre the agents for the house. Hes exactly-the kind of man I always planned on marrying. 2. The fact is, Ive been acting like a prick. <. MONOLOGUE We can't do this. She looks at me and says, Are you aware that you only have one testicle? Well, I nearly dropped, or I would have only she was holding me by the and obviously one of them hadnt dropped, or somethin. And believed you and pretended not to notice the Streisand thing an unresolved with. 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